Should you love yourself?

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Mt 11:28 NLT

God loves you and me. We have all gone wrong. We are all unworthy sinners, we need God's forgiveness. Without God's forgiveness, we must always strive to hide our shame and disguise our failures.

You and I have a longing for love, but we always doubt whether we can be lovable.

Many react with exaggerated self-centredness. Religious Christianity has therefore rejected all self-love as sin. Many strive to resist self-love. They try to love others, but not to love themselves.

But this does not work well.

We learn from social science that many patients visit a doctor, get a prescription, but they don't buy the medicine. Others buy the medicine but don’t take it. Then there are others who take the medicine but take it incorrectly, or forget to take it when they are in a hurry.

(Peterson, Jordan B.. 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote for Chaos. Kindle Edition.)

Why do we neglect our own health? Because of a lack of genuine, healthy self-love.
But social scientists have revealed an even more astonishing finding.

When they get a prescription from the vet, almost all people are very reliable and use the medicine just right.

Jesus tells us to love ourselves. But no! Really?

... ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ … Mk 12:31 NLT

But many preachers have always claimed that we all love ourselves too much. We must therefore endeavour not to love ourselves.

And the very many people who despair and commit suicide, do they really love themselves?
So many people do not respect themselves, do not care for themselves, do not protect themselves.

Yes, there are people who seem to worship themselves, but there are also so many who hate or despise themselves.

I visited a church in Germany where the preacher was praying with longing for revival. He once asked God why the long-awaited revival had not yet come.
He told us that God had given him an amazing answer.

We are still waiting for revival because so many Christians do not love themselves.

I once had a problem because a pastor had arrogantly dominated me.

Again and again I thought how I should have resisted his domination. Anger and resentment kept surfacing in me. Then I repented each time. I prayed to God for forgiveness. I proclaimed my forgiveness for the pastor.

But a few days later, the anger resurfaced.

Then I gave up the fight. I simply told God:
``Dear God. You see my thoughts. What do you think about it?
The Holy Spirit answered immediately:
‘’You can't forgive the pastor because you can't forgive yourself. You should have resisted, and you failed. You have to forgive yourself for your failure.
Then I was set free.

It was a lack of self-respect. There is a God-given self-respect. This is an aspect of healthy self-love that Jesus is talking about.

Paul deals with the same topic.

He warns against extreme subservience, which is also an aspect of a lack of self-love.

In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or puts on airs or slaps you in the face. 2 Co 11:20 NIV

Jesus also warns us against authoritarian preachers.

“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. Mt 23:8 NIV

Extreme submissiveness is terrible, but rebellion and selfishness are no better.
When a man visits a prostitute, he not only despises the woman, but also himself.

Don’t you realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 1 Co 6:19 NLT

Healthy self-love is also an antidote to drug addiction and pornography addiction.

You can only love yourself properly if you learn to experience the love of God, if you learn to value yourself as God values you.