Christians Bullying Christians.

 So many Christians are bullied by other Christians. 

I was once the victim of bullying. Sadly, victims often also become bullies. As a child I bullied my younger brothers and am sorry to say I became a harsh controlling step-father. I am now friends with my brothers and step-sons.

Jesus spoke very harsh words against the sin of Christian bullying.

But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, 'My master is staying away a long time,' and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. Matthew 24:48-49 (NIV)

There are also religious bullies who don't get drunk or indulge in sins of the flesh but is Jesus suggesting that bullying is just as bad as getting drunk and indulging the flesh? or worse?

Religious legalism often leads to bullying.

What is legalism? It is an attempt to prevent or correct sin using human rules and punishments.

You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: "'These people honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'" Matthew 15:7-9 (NIV)

Jesus spoke more strongly against bullying and legalism than any other sin.  

I am not against pastors. There are wonderful pastors and I know some as friends. Pastors too can be victims of bullying. I have seen this several times and it is horrible.

The Apostle Paul was also very strong in condemning bullying. In his second letter to the Corinthian church, Paul rebukes the Corinthian believers. Why? Not for sexual sin. That was in his first letter.
He rebukes them for submitting unconditionally to bullying preachers.

You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face. 2 Cor 11:19-20 (NIV)

Any pastor or preacher who demands unconditional and total submission is a false shepherd.

If a pastor responds to criticism or disagreement with threats or intimidation, why not just leave?

If a leader imposes his will on people to the point that his word is law, he is usurping the lordship of Jesus.

There are many Christians who feel uneasy, resentful or secretly angry towards over confident, controlling leaders but they believe they must not resist because that would be the sin of rebellion.
This is a false understanding of scripture.

When King Saul tried to kill David, David fled for his life.

 If you are bullied in church, you are entitled to leave the church. It may even be your duty to leave.

You cannot serve two masters. 

If you submit to a bully, you are submitting to a false spirit, because the Spirit of Jesus is never cruel, but kind and loving.

Supposing you are imprisoned by religious parents or a ruthlessly controlling husband. If you leave the church, you could become homeless or lose your children.  

You can be like Joseph in prison who cultivated a secret relationship with God.  

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Ps 147:3 (NIV)

"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the broken hearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound; Isaiah 61:1 (NKJV)

It is good if you can talk back to bullies and it is not a sin but sometimes a soft answer is better.

In extreme cases, the strongest answer is a stubborn, determined silence, especially if you are expected to agree, express submission or apologise when you believe you are not in the wrong.

When Jesus was on trial for his life, He answered many aggressive questions and accusations with silence. His silence was the strongest answer.

 

Set Free from False Submission

 There are Christians who think they must fulfil all expectations and instructions from their family, their church and their boss at work, as if everyone around them were an officer in God's army.

When Jesus preached and ministered in his earthly life, he saw how so many Jews had to carry heavy burdens.

God had given the Jews more than 600 laws and rules in the Old Testament. It was almost impossible for a flawed human being to obey everything perfectly. Only the sinless Son of God was able to do this.

But for the Jews in those generations it was even worse. The rabbis and Pharisees had laid down countless additional rules.

For example, it was forbidden to work on the Sabbath, but the Pharisees had invented detailed rules whereby it was forbidden to minister to the sick through prayer on the Sabbath.

Jesus confronted the religious leaders directly by healing the sick on the Sabbath, in public services. There are still some Christians who are indignant when miraculous healings take place in church services.

The rabbis also required women to be extremely submissive, just like many strict Christian fundamentalists today.

Then came the Roman occupation. A Roman soldier was allowed to order a Jew to carry his luggage. If Jews resisted the Roman occupation, they were often crucified.
Most Jews were heavily burdened and many were traumatised.

Jesus did not abolish the Ten Commandments and the Old Testament by any means, but he wanted to open the way so that everyone could come directly to God, so that everyone would receive God's loving help.

One woman shared her story on Facebook. She was mercilessly harassed by her husband, but in her church she was told to just obey, submit, fast and pray.

She obeyed for years until she could bear no more. She was just about to kill herself when her mobile phone rang. God had moved a friend to save her.

She could finally understand that Jesus did not want to enslave her, but to save and free her.
She left her husband and her church and now lives as a liberated Christian woman. 

Jesus has a simple solution to our problems.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

“For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Mt 11:28–30 NASB95

Jesus does not mean that we should live our lives like lazy people in a rocking chair without any problems, but Jesus wants to accompany you as a friend in the midst of your problems.

There may be some in your church, family or workplace who want to dominate or manipulate you, but Jesus wants your trust so that you can follow his loving guidance.

Many of us are enslaved to a spirit of submission that is not from God, the spirit of false submission.

Should you love yourself?

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Mt 11:28 NLT

God loves you and me. We have all gone wrong. We are all unworthy sinners, we need God's forgiveness. Without God's forgiveness, we must always strive to hide our shame and disguise our failures.

You and I have a longing for love, but we always doubt whether we can be lovable.

Many react with exaggerated self-centredness. Religious Christianity has therefore rejected all self-love as sin. Many strive to resist self-love. They try to love others, but not to love themselves.

But this does not work well.

We learn from social science that many patients visit a doctor, get a prescription, but they don't buy the medicine. Others buy the medicine but don’t take it. Then there are others who take the medicine but take it incorrectly, or forget to take it when they are in a hurry.

(Peterson, Jordan B.. 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote for Chaos. Kindle Edition.)

Why do we neglect our own health? Because of a lack of genuine, healthy self-love.
But social scientists have revealed an even more astonishing finding.

When they get a prescription from the vet, almost all people are very reliable and use the medicine just right.

Jesus tells us to love ourselves. But no! Really?

... ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ … Mk 12:31 NLT

But many preachers have always claimed that we all love ourselves too much. We must therefore endeavour not to love ourselves.

And the very many people who despair and commit suicide, do they really love themselves?
So many people do not respect themselves, do not care for themselves, do not protect themselves.

Yes, there are people who seem to worship themselves, but there are also so many who hate or despise themselves.

I visited a church in Germany where the preacher was praying with longing for revival. He once asked God why the long-awaited revival had not yet come.
He told us that God had given him an amazing answer.

We are still waiting for revival because so many Christians do not love themselves.

I once had a problem because a pastor had arrogantly dominated me.

Again and again I thought how I should have resisted his domination. Anger and resentment kept surfacing in me. Then I repented each time. I prayed to God for forgiveness. I proclaimed my forgiveness for the pastor.

But a few days later, the anger resurfaced.

Then I gave up the fight. I simply told God:
``Dear God. You see my thoughts. What do you think about it?
The Holy Spirit answered immediately:
‘’You can't forgive the pastor because you can't forgive yourself. You should have resisted, and you failed. You have to forgive yourself for your failure.
Then I was set free.

It was a lack of self-respect. There is a God-given self-respect. This is an aspect of healthy self-love that Jesus is talking about.

Paul deals with the same topic.

He warns against extreme subservience, which is also an aspect of a lack of self-love.

In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or puts on airs or slaps you in the face. 2 Co 11:20 NIV

Jesus also warns us against authoritarian preachers.

“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. Mt 23:8 NIV

Extreme submissiveness is terrible, but rebellion and selfishness are no better.
When a man visits a prostitute, he not only despises the woman, but also himself.

Don’t you realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 1 Co 6:19 NLT

Healthy self-love is also an antidote to drug addiction and pornography addiction.

You can only love yourself properly if you learn to experience the love of God, if you learn to value yourself as God values you.