Death is Not the End

 I love classical music. I was listening to music on the radio when I heard the last composition of Piazolla, the great Argentinian musician. He was in his late sixties and in very poor health. He knew his end was near and this music was his sad farewell to life.

I felt the horror of approaching death with no sure hope of eternal life in heaven. I started to feel a little nausea. How terrible that would be!

My father was a super-intelligent, high achieving psychiatrist. He loved his work, and he worked a few hours a week until he was 79. 

After a minor stroke forced him to retire, he was a lost soul. His health was not good, and his intelligence was declining. He had been an excellent chess player, but he gave up playing with me when I started to beat him easily.

When I talked to him on the phone, he would tell me he was still alive. That was all. He was just waiting to die. He had no hope in this world or the next. 

But as time passed, I began to see a shift in his thinking. When I cautiously talked to him about faith in God, he started to be a little open. When he was 85, he could no longer live at home because he would often fall over. When my wife or I visited him, we would read the bible to him and he listened with keen interest.

At 88 he was bedridden and seriously mentally impaired. One day my wife and I visited him and my wife asked him if he wanted to pray and make peace with God. When she prayed, he responded by squeezing her hand. From that day onwards, his conversation changed. The despair was gone.

He was somehow aware that death was not the end, that Jesus was there for him. He eagerly listened to us when we read the bible to him. He was happy for us to pray for him, but he was very unwell and suffering terribly. 

I hated to see him suffering and I hoped he would pass away quickly, but God was not finished with him. He lived until he was 91. 

On his ninety-first birthday, I read Psalm 91 verse 16.

With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.” Ps 91:16 NKJV

Then I prayed a very daring prayer. 

“Dear God. How would it be if my father died exactly 16 days after his 91st birthday?”

God was strangely pleased and my father passed away peacefully exactly 16 days later.

Old Age

 Retirement and old age can be a curse. Are you full or regrets over your failures and bad choices? You can look back at so many mistakes in your life. You wish you had made better decisions. What would have happened if …

You can look at the horrible things people had done that hurt you. You wish you had not allowed this or that person to dominate you and rob you of your independent thinking.

I saw my father in his eighties, as his health and his intellectual brilliance deteriorated. He went to bookshops and bought piles of books that he would never read. He so much wanted to keep thinking, although he knew his brain was ageing and his mind was fading and failing.

He progressively slipped into despair, just waiting to die and disappear into nothingness.
But old age can also be a time to rethink, to reconsider, to be open to another dimension.

As my father became helpless and bedridden, he could not read or watch television, but there was an openness to something he had pushed away from his mind when he was mentally and physically able.

My wife and I asked him if we could read the bible to him. He was happy to listen. We would read a chapter to him and ask him if that was enough. As time went by, he even asked to hear more.
Then there came a time when he was happy for us to pray for him.

Eventually he was 88 and my wife asked him if he would like to believe in Jesus and make peace with God. She prayed for him and he squeezed her hand. From that day he was never the same again. The black cloud of despair left him.

I talked to him about his mother and brother who were already in heaven. I told him they were waiting to see him again. Now he listened with positive expectation. Eventually my father died in peace at the age of 91.

Never stop praying for your loved ones. Many people in old age become more difficult, more irritable, more negative, but that does not have to be the end of the story.

Death can be a dreaded departure into darkness, or it can be a wonderful release into a better world with a good God.

I am now 75. Every year is a year closer to heaven. I am learning to let go of negative attitudes that I learned in past years. I am learning to be more tolerant, less critical, less judgemental, although that it still often a challenge.

Old age can be a time of hardening or a time of softening, a time of resignation, or a time of learning and teaching others with the wisdom of reflection.

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; Eccesiastes 3:1–2 NKJV

Overcoming Despair and Bitterness

Have you experienced a humiliating defeat? Maybe you've lost your job or your marriage.
You wonder if you are the victim or if you have failed yourself.

Many Christians give up or blame God themselves.

Some blame themselves. They become passive and resigned.

This is very dangerous. It can lead to a serious depressive illness, perhaps alcoholism, or pornography addiction, or suicide.

The most miserable failure in the Bible was Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus. When he realised his terrible guilt, he did not plead for God's forgiveness. Instead, he fell into despair and self-hatred.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.

“I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. Mt 27:3–5 NIV

No matter how you have failed, you are still totally loved by Jesus. He wants to forgive you. He wants to give you a completely new start.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps 34:18 NIV

Peter also let Jesus down.

After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed.

Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. Mt 26:73–75 NIV

But Peter did not give up. Jesus met him and Peter was ready to receive forgiveness and love from Jesus.

When you are rock bottom, you can reject yourself or hate your adversaries. But you won't find a way out with hatred and rejection.

Forgive those who bully or abuse you. Above all, forgive yourself.

This is so hard, but no one was more terribly abused than Jesus, hanging stark naked on the cross. How did he pray?

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” Lk 23:34 NRSV

But maybe you are a victim of sexual abuse. Can you demand justice?

Why not? God is the God of mercy, but also of justice. If criminals are not punished, they can continue to sin and destroy other victims.

But it is so important that you allow God to cleanse your heart of all bitterness.

Are you a victim or a failure? It doesn't matter. Jesus loves you. He still has good plans for you.

Despite everything, you can have a future.