Overcoming Despair and Bitterness

Have you experienced a humiliating defeat? Maybe you've lost your job or your marriage.
You wonder if you are the victim or if you have failed yourself.

Many Christians give up or blame God themselves.

Some blame themselves. They become passive and resigned.

This is very dangerous. It can lead to a serious depressive illness, perhaps alcoholism, or pornography addiction, or suicide.

The most miserable failure in the Bible was Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus. When he realised his terrible guilt, he did not plead for God's forgiveness. Instead, he fell into despair and self-hatred.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.

“I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. Mt 27:3–5 NIV

No matter how you have failed, you are still totally loved by Jesus. He wants to forgive you. He wants to give you a completely new start.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps 34:18 NIV

Peter also let Jesus down.

After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed.

Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. Mt 26:73–75 NIV

But Peter did not give up. Jesus met him and Peter was ready to receive forgiveness and love from Jesus.

When you are rock bottom, you can reject yourself or hate your adversaries. But you won't find a way out with hatred and rejection.

Forgive those who bully or abuse you. Above all, forgive yourself.

This is so hard, but no one was more terribly abused than Jesus, hanging stark naked on the cross. How did he pray?

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” Lk 23:34 NRSV

But maybe you are a victim of sexual abuse. Can you demand justice?

Why not? God is the God of mercy, but also of justice. If criminals are not punished, they can continue to sin and destroy other victims.

But it is so important that you allow God to cleanse your heart of all bitterness.

Are you a victim or a failure? It doesn't matter. Jesus loves you. He still has good plans for you.

Despite everything, you can have a future.

God Heals and Transforms Trauma

 The way of love can be hard. You have sincerely tried to be a faithful Christian, but you have been overwhelmed with all kinds of obstacles for years.

Joan Hunter is the daughter of Charles and Frances Hunter, who were pioneers in the healing ministry. She too was faithful and gifted to proclaim healing and salvation.

She married a man who was supposed to be a faithful Christian, but it turned out that he was homosexual and committed adultery with men.

Her heart was broken. She had children she had to raise alone. What happened to her ministry? Through her own experience, she became deeply familiar with trauma. Her tragedy became a treasure of healing for many traumatised women and men.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 

who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Cor 1:3–4 NASB95

If you are deeply traumatised in your soul, you must understand that it is not just your thoughts and feelings that are hurt. Your whole being is damaged: your brain, your heart, your health.

Forgiveness is a necessary aspect of the healing process, but many counsellors go wrong when they give good advice. ‘Just Forgive.’

Forgiveness is not easy and it is not painless. Forgiveness is also only part of the healing process.

Abuse and trauma can ruin your whole being. There are people who must be rebuilt all over again.

‘Just forgive’ as formulaic advice is a poisoned chalice.

Traumatised people need healing, as do patients who are dying with cancer.

He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Ps 147:3 NASB95

Are you perishing? Your pain can become medicine for other suffering people.

I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory. Eph 3:13 NIV

Paul had to suffer a lot as a missionary. He wrote his letters to the Ephesians and Colossians in prison. As a suffering prisoner, Paul received and passed on marvellous revelations.

His suffering became a marvellous blessing for the Ephesians.

He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Ps 147:3 NASB95

Are you crushed? Your pain can become medicine for other suffering people.