God's Way Out for Traumatised Victims

 In the decades after the war, there were Jews who could not bear to hear the German language.

Some people were so traumatised as children that they never want to marry. Some become homosexuals; others live in de-facto relationships. Others run away as teenagers and become homeless.

There are also many Christians who are so manipulated and disrespected in churches that they often feel threatened in church services.

God has given us homeland, family, marriage and church, but when these gifts of God are corrupted by lust for power, there are  countless victims who find life unbearable.

My wife and I were in a wonderful church for about ten years. Many loved God with a good heart. Many reached out to people on the streets.

Everyone was welcome: homeless, witches, prostitutes, it didn't matter. 

Some New Age people came to seek God, others came to practice witchcraft against us, but the Christians prayed with power and authority so that the devil could not gain the upper hand.

Such a situation can become chaotic. There are some communities where the leaders are harsh rulers, perhaps out of greed for power, or perhaps out of fear of chaos.

Our pastor often said it was easer for him to control people than   to lead free people, but he was determined to respect everybody's freedom.

Paul also believed in freedom. He was extremely critical of preachers who wanted to rule harshly. He told the Christians in Corinth not to submit to such leadership.

You put up with it when someone enslaves you, takes everything you have, takes advantage of you, takes control of everything, and slaps you in the face. 2 Corinthians 11:20 NLT

Paul not only criticised the arrogant preachers for their cruelty, but also submissive Christians, for their obedience.

Cruel abuse of authority wreaks havoc. Many women and men want nothing more to do with God or the church because of severe Christian parents, teachers or preachers.

A good preacher told how she was out on the streets proselytising among prostitutes. Quite a few young women on the street came from devout Christian families.

How can we win the traumatised victims for Jesus?

Our role model is Jesus. He preached very hard against the sins of the arrogant religious leaders, but he was gentle and kind with the despised sinners.

The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.” ’ Luke 7:34 NIV84

Are you yourself badly hurt, rejected and traumatised? Do you need to submit again to escape God's judgement? Many wrestle with such terrifying thoughts.

God's ways for you are quite different. He wants to welcome you kindly and help you with gentleness.

Grace before Law

 God has given us a conscience to warn us against sin. Without a conscience, we are lost in darkness.

But without the truth in the Bible, our conscience can be twisted by our culture. There are religious people who murder their daughters because they have supposedly sinned. A twisted conscience can even justify murder.

God gave us his laws because our conscience needs to be trained.

God wanted to teach us that we should not marry our close relatives. That's what we read in the Torah, the laws that Moses received from God.

But before the law came God's grace.

Abraham married his half-sister, but God blessed her.

Moses' parents were close relatives.

Amram married his father’s sister Jochebed, who bore him Aaron and Moses. Amram lived 137 years. Exodus 6:20 NIV84

Before the law, this was not a sin. Before the law, we see the grace of God.

When missionaries went around the world, they found married couples who were brother and sister. Sometimes these couples were forced to annul their marriage.

Sarah was the half-sister of Abraham. Were the missionaries right?

Of course everyone should learn to obey God's rules about marriage, but should already established marriages be broken up? That is another question.

God's commandments are a light that enables us to see God's justice.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105 NIV84

On the other hand we can try to obey God's Word, but fail again and again. We need not only God's written word, but also an open heart to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4 NIV84

I was once gripped by resentment.

I used to be in a church where the pastor was very authoritarian over everything and everyone. He had tried to solve problems in my family, but he had been very bossy and manipulative.

I felt helpless and angry because the pastor had disrespectfully controlled me and my family.

I played a kind of video drama in my imagination, in which I firmly contradicted the pastor.

This was repeated over and over again. Each time I repented because I knew I had to forgive.

But my repeated prayers of confession did not change anything. My wounded feelings were not healed.

Finally, I talked openly to God.

"Dear God. You see all my thoughts. What do you think about it?"

Immediately the answer from God came to my mind.

"You cannot forgive this man because you have not forgiven yourself. You should have resisted then, and you blame yourself for your weak submission."

I saw immediately that God was on my side. I forgave myself and I felt truly liberated.  

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. Galatians 5:1 NLT