Where does your Calling Come From?

 There are so many who live tragically unfulfilled lives because they are dominated and constrained by other people's expectations.

There are women who have amazing gifts from God but are forced to submit in marriage.

Charles and Frances Hunter were pioneers in the healing ministry. They served God as partners.

Their daughter Joan was also gifted by God and called to serve with gifts of healing. When she was engaged early in her life, her fiancé said her ministry should be under his control after the wedding because he, as the husband, was the head. She immediately called off the engagement.

The husband is never the master of his wife, but her partner under God's rule.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph 5:21 NIV

If you have gifts of grace from God, you are responsible to God yourself.

There are churches and denominations where women are forced to play a passive or subordinate role. Many women in this situation have found a way out by never marrying and becoming missionaries in distant lands.

In the 19th century, the majority of missionaries in China were women. They mainly evangelised among Chinese women. Today, more than 75% of church leaders in China are women pastors.

Many women are frustrated and unfulfilled because of legalism and human traditions, but not only women.

How many men are gifted to serve as shepherds and preachers but are never allowed to marry in their denomination. So often we see how such men cannot bear life without a wife.

On the other hand, there are devoted Christians who marry because their church forces them to, and their marriage is a disaster.  

I read the story of a pastor. He was in a meeting with the board of his church. The church was having serious problems. Suddenly, the pastor stood up and shocked the elders.

I'm resigning. I only became a pastor because my mother wanted me to!

What is your calling? Who does your calling come from?

Mutual Submission

As a new convert in an authoritarian cult like church, I learnt that submission to Christ meant that a Christian must have no freedom of choice, no personal preferences and no unique personality.

The death of the self was strongly emphasised. Love for anything other than God was idolatry.

But then I read in Genesis that God gave Adam the freedom to choose names for all the animals. God submitted to Adam's choices regarding the names of the animals.

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. Ge 2:19 NIVUK84

When a husband loves his wife, he respects and honours her wisdom, gifts and abilities. The Apostle Paul writes that each of us should esteem others more highly than ourselves.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Php 2:3 NIVUK84

A husband who loves his wife will submit to her in those areas where she is wiser or more capable than he is. If a wife is much more spiritually mature than her husband, which is very often the case, he should be willing to value her spiritual guidance.

This leads my thoughts back to Ephesians 5:21.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph 5:21 NIVUK84

I also learned to question the rigid hierarchical culture of some churches.

Mutual submission means that the Senior Pastor should give children’s church leaders freedom to make decisions. 

A good pastor will also seek the advice of the elders, computer specialists, financial experts and prophetic people. 

A good pastor will also be willing to release church members into missions, and not only missions under his direction. 

A healthy marriage is a partnership. A healthy church is a team.

Grace before Law

 God has given us a conscience to warn us against sin. Without a conscience, we are lost in darkness.

But without the truth in the Bible, our conscience can be twisted by our culture. There are religious people who murder their daughters because they have supposedly sinned. A twisted conscience can even justify murder.

God gave us his laws because our conscience needs to be trained.

God wanted to teach us that we should not marry our close relatives. That's what we read in the Torah, the laws that Moses received from God.

But before the law came God's grace.

Abraham married his half-sister, but God blessed her.

Moses' parents were close relatives.

Amram married his father’s sister Jochebed, who bore him Aaron and Moses. Amram lived 137 years. Exodus 6:20 NIV84

Before the law, this was not a sin. Before the law, we see the grace of God.

When missionaries went around the world, they found married couples who were brother and sister. Sometimes these couples were forced to annul their marriage.

Sarah was the half-sister of Abraham. Were the missionaries right?

Of course everyone should learn to obey God's rules about marriage, but should already established marriages be broken up? That is another question.

God's commandments are a light that enables us to see God's justice.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105 NIV84

On the other hand we can try to obey God's Word, but fail again and again. We need not only God's written word, but also an open heart to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4 NIV84

I was once gripped by resentment.

I used to be in a church where the pastor was very authoritarian over everything and everyone. He had tried to solve problems in my family, but he had been very bossy and manipulative.

I felt helpless and angry because the pastor had disrespectfully controlled me and my family.

I played a kind of video drama in my imagination, in which I firmly contradicted the pastor.

This was repeated over and over again. Each time I repented because I knew I had to forgive.

But my repeated prayers of confession did not change anything. My wounded feelings were not healed.

Finally, I talked openly to God.

"Dear God. You see all my thoughts. What do you think about it?"

Immediately the answer from God came to my mind.

"You cannot forgive this man because you have not forgiven yourself. You should have resisted then, and you blame yourself for your weak submission."

I saw immediately that God was on my side. I forgave myself and I felt truly liberated.  

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. Galatians 5:1 NLT