Spiritual Abuse. The Way Out.

There are Christians who are seriously ill or under threat. They pray. They quote God's promises from the Bible. And yet they cannot get rid of the illness, or they remain desperate and often panic.

I understand this from my own experience. I am now 75 years old, but as a young man I was a newly converted Christian. I saw a therapist every week and then I became a believing Christian.

My first church was extreme and fanatical.
I experienced the presence of God and His sweet love, but you learnt in church that you should fast repeatedly and be afraid of God's judgement.

The pastors were like little gods, like prophets sitting on a judgement seat. You had to obey, obey, obey.

I was no longer allowed to speak to the therapist every week, but to the pastor.

I couldn't stand the stress.

One day I snapped, I angrily told the pastor I didn’t want to be a Christian. The pastor excommunicated me. He ordered me not to attend any other church. I was supposedly damned until I might repent one day.

That was spiritual abuse. I was devastated.

My parents came to my rescue. I spent a whole year in a psychiatric hospital.

Then I realised that hundreds of other Christians had been excommunicated from that sect. The scales fell from my eyes. I was free to be a normal Christian, no longer condemned.

But the way back to normal life was not so easy.

I had to learn to believe in the God of love and grace. I had to learn to trust God for my healing.

 I had to learn to think for myself instead of remaining a dependent disciple always seeking advice from a pastor.

Maybe you are a Christian, but you are a victim of brainwashing and abuse. If you have experienced this, you are traumatised, and perhaps often physically ill.

Please don't give up. I have learnt to use God's promises in the Bible as a shield and umbrella, and also as a weapon.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. Jn 10:10 NRSV

I read in the Bible that there is a devil. He also infiltrates pious churches. You must learn to resist the devil by believing in God's goodness and kindness.

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, Rom 5:1 NRSV 

So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! 2 Co 5:17 NRSV

I have learnt to overcome abuse and trauma. Now, by God's grace, I can help others find their way out.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Cor 1:3–4 NIV

You too can walk this path. God has wonderful plans for your life.

The Power of Good Thoughts

 I was studying to be a social worker. I had a practical placement in a public hospital. 

The social worker introduced the students to a cancer ward. She explained that dying patients were given strong narcotics to ease the pain and mental suffering. The medication was effective but it also helped the patients to die more quickly.

I began to think more intensely about my mortality and the meaning of my life. I was in my twenties and I could look forward to 50 or 60 more years, but what then?

I was going to a church which focused on humanist theology, social justice, therapy for troubled souls and human solutions to problems. I had a nagging feeling that I was avoiding eternal spiritual issues, but I was afraid to commit myself to the God of eternal heaven and hell.

In my confused state of mind, I was enticed by a horrible cult following a false Messiah. After a few days of brainwashing I was on the edge of a mental breakdown and I walked out of the commune.

I was desperate and I was finally ready to go to a church that took the bible seriously. I made a real commitment to be a disciple of Jesus, but I was still very depressed.

A good Christian friend took me to a church where I encountered the love and the real presence of God, but sadly this was not a happy ending.

This church turned out to be an authoritarian cult. I was told to fast a lot and to stop seeing my psychiatrist. It was a disaster. I became upset and angry and I was excommunicated by the pastors.

I spiralled down into an abyss of mental illness and I spent 12 months in a psychiatric ward on strong medication.

In the few months before I was excommunicated, I had been hammered by severe preaching. We were told we must be broken in spirit, that our wills must be broken to submit fully to God. I was already broken by terrible trials and I just could not take this poisonous mixture of obligation, fear and guilt.

Before and long after I left that church, I lived in fear of condemnation from God. At times, I was terrified.

Eventually I left the hospital and went to a good church, where I found kind people and good ministers, but I struggled to overcome the deep depression.

I remember standing outside the church after a good meeting. I looked up at the night sky and told God I just wanted to die and go to heaven.

In this short article, I don't want to tell my whole life story, but the question is how I overcame my trauma.

I found a church where God's grace and miraculous healings were emphasised. I learnt to experience and enjoy God's loving presence on long walks.

Even in the hospital, I learned to distract myself from the horrible thoughts with positive and creative activities.

Sometimes I hear Christians condemning psychiatry and medication. I can only say that they are often misguided by ignorance and prejudice.

I am eternally grateful for the support of my parents, and also of good friends and loving Christians.

I have been in a church for seven years where a pastor has taught us to unleash our imagination to think of fond memories and develop an attitude of gratitude.

This is so important that we focus on beautiful thoughts.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling bad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad.’ (The Sound of Music.. Rogers and Hammerstein)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Php 4:8 NIV