Showing posts with label Equal partnership in marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Equal partnership in marriage. Show all posts

Friday, October 17, 2025

Love One Another

 No community can function without leadership. As Christians, we need leaders, elders, preachers, teachers and managers. Parents must have authority over their children. But when Christianity is dominated by hierarchy, we have lost our way.

But he said to them, “The kings of the gentiles lord it over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors
But not so with you; rather, the greatest among you must become like the youngest and the leader like one who serves.
Lk 22:25–26 NRSVue

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.
Jn 13:34 NRSVue

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Jn 15:12 NRSVue

I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.
Jn 15:17 NRSVue

Owe no one anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Rom 13:8 NRSVue

Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Rom 14:19 NRSVue

Welcome one another, therefore, just as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
Rom 15:7 NRSVue

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1 Cor 7:4 NRSVue 

The essence of Christian marriage is not male dominance but equal partnership

being subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Eph 5:21 NRSVue

There is no longer Jew or Greek; there is no longer slave or free; there is no longer male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.
Gal 3:28 NRSVue

Gender based hierarchy violates the key biblical principle of mutual love and respect.

Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
Eph 4:26 NRSVue

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.
Eph 4:32 NRSVue

Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Col 3:13 NRSVue

Now concerning love of the brothers and sisters, you do not need to have anyone write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another,
1 Th 4:9 NRSVue

Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.
1 Th 5:11 NRSVue

See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all.
1 Th 5:15 NRSVue

Saturday, June 1, 2024

Christian Fellowshp and Networking

 I just listened to a discussion between American women who are in ministry as pastors and leaders. They have to put up with a lot of criticism and unfair judgement from people who believe only men should be leaders and teachers. 

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Ga 3:28 NKJV 

 It is essential for them to network and encourage each other to keep going.

I reflected that most pastors and church leaders are men. They also have problems and often suffer criticism and discouragement. They also experience many personal weaknesses and failures, but these are often not exposed until they suffer severe burnout, fall into serious sin or are involved in church splits and various scandals. Sadly, this happens all too often.

Women in leadership endure opposition from people with patriarchal doctrines, and they need support, but men are theoretically supposed to be strong leaders on some kind of pedestal. If women suffer from discrimination, men suffer from absurd expectations of superior strength and wisdom.

Gender based hierarchy damages both men and women. Women who are treated as subordinates can become legalistic, critical and gossipy. Men have to keep up the appearance of superiority, which is a crippling burden to bear.

Jesus understood the importance of partnership and teamwork. He sent out his disciples two by two.

Paul planted churches everywhere he went, except for one important city, Athens. What happened in Athens? Paul was there alone, without a missionary partner or assistant. Everywhere else he travelled with Silas, Barnabas, Timothy or Luke.

If a man has to sit alone on a throne as family priest or senior pastor, he finds it difficult to confess faults or weaknesses, difficult to ask for help. 

Of course a patriarchal leader can ask or tell people to do things, like a manager assigning tasks in a business, but this is not the same as asking a partner for help to deal with his personal weaknesses or problems.

James tells Christians to confess their faults to one another. This is not the same as subordinates confessing sins to a pastor.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Jas 5:16 NIV

Every pastor, whether man or woman, needs good trustworthy Christian friends, people to go to for personal help and encouragement.

Every Christian needs the same kind of help. I have never been an ordained pastor. On occasions, a Christian man or woman has confided personal weaknesses or failures to me. They could not go to their pastor for fear of exposure or being suspended from their ministry.

I was able to give priestly encouragement, and I trust that helped them to deal with their problem.

We are called to be a community of priests and give priestly help to each other in a way which often does not work well in a strictly hierarchical system.

I would encourage every Christian to have trusted Christian friends who are not necessarily members of the same church.

I also believe marriages work better when husband and wife love and respect each other as equal partners with equal status and authority. This is the best way for deep trusting friendship to flourish.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph 5:21 NIV

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
Php 2:3 NKJV



Tuesday, April 16, 2024

God Created Men and Women to be Equal

Why do many Christians teach that men must always be in charge of churches, not women? Why do they say a woman must always obey her husband?

They can quote bible verses here and there, often with doubtful interpretations. Every verse can also be interpreted to show that it is not a universal law of God, or even that some verses are incorrect translations.  Books have been written to explain this in detail.  

Paul also instructs slaves to obey their masters. If we tell wives to be subordinate, we should, to be consistent, be in favour of slavery.

However, there is a simple Biblical explanation that shows men and women should be equal in every respect.

God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply! Fill the earth and subdue it! Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that moves on the ground.” Ge 1:27–28 NET

Who did God appoint to rule? Only the man? Only the female? No. He appointed both man and woman to rule, with no indication of hierarchy.

But some Christians point to Genesis 3:16.

To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labour you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Gen 3:16.

Did God decree that a husband should rule over his wife? Some understand this to be a divine decree. Others believe God was sadly predicting the unjust subordination of women because sin had corrupted the original godlike human nature. 

Adam and Eve were both originally sinless and therefore created in the image of God.

But God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross to pay the penalty of sin.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Jn 3:16 NIV

If you believe in Jesus, if you put entrust your life to the love and truth of God, if you commit your life to the leading of God, you are no longer an outsider with God.

But that is not all.

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of GodJn 1:12 NIV

As a follower of Jesus, you are a child of God, a son or a daughter. God does not discriminate.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!
2 Co 5:17 CSB

This translation says anyone in Christ is a new creation. The masculine pronoun HE is not in the original Greek text.

When God first created man and woman, there was not even a hint of rank order or gender based hierarchy. Salvation after the cross restores God’s original intention. 

Both man and woman are in God’s image and are appointed to rule jointly.

God wants husbands and wives to be partners, equal in every respect, including equal in authority, just as in Eden before sin spoiled everything.

Likewise, the church should reflect this principle of complete gender equality, in spiritual ministry and church government.

 

Saturday, October 26, 2013

BLESSING IS SO POWERFUL

Human history did not begin with a political leader or the work of a great genius.

...God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; MALE and FEMALE he created THEM.
  • And God blessed THEM...Genesis 1:27-28 (ESV) 

History began with a happy couple blessed by God. 

Human life is not all about the dominance of great men, great kings or great preachers. 

The essence of human life is friendship and partnership.

  • Man and woman, husband and wife, brother and sister are called to be friends and partners with each other.
  • Not only that. You and I are created to be friends and partners with God in ruling the world.

WHAT IS RULING THE WORLD

  • BLESSING, FRUITFULNESS AND LOVING SERVICE, NOT DOMINATION OF OTHER PEOPLE.
Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply... (physically and spiritually). Genesis 1:28 (NLT)

  • Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Matthew 20:25 (NIV) 

Throughout human history, men have dominated women and stronger men have dominated weaker men. 

IS GOD AGAINST LEADERSHIP?

By no means.

But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant... Matthew 20:26 (NLT)

Now we need to carefully consider what this means. 

  • There are mothers and fathers who work like slaves for their children but in return, they demand total obedience to their own ideas. 
  • The children can never discover the meaning of freedom. 

I once read the story of a middle aged man who killed himself and left a suicide note. 

He was a farmer’s son who faithfully served his father,
  • but could not even buy a garden tool for the farm without his father’s permission. 
  • He chose to end his life rather than continue to live as a slave.
Sadly there are government officials, business managers, teachers and even pastors who rule over people like this. 

  • They work harder than those under them and in return, they demand complete control over everything and everybody.

What does the Bible say?

We must not rebel and start a fight against a bullying leader. The Bible tells us to respect authority. 

  • But does that mean we must remain unquestioning slaves?

David served King Saul, even when Saul came under the control of dark spirits but there came a time when David had to claim his freedom.
  • When Saul tried to kill David, the young man fled for his life. 
When a leader imprisons you with control, you have God’s permission to leave. 

  • Some people leave too quickly but others stay too long.

The Apostle Paul told the Christians in Galatia not to submit to self appointed church leaders who wanted to control them with man made rules.

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1 (NKJV)

After Paul planted a church in Corinth, bossy preachers came in and took over.
  • How did Paul tell the Christians to respond? DON’T SUBMIT TO THEM!

After all, you think you are so wise, but you enjoy putting up with fools!
  • You put up with it when someone enslaves you, 
  • takes everything you have, takes advantage of you, 
  • takes control of everything, and slaps you in the face. 2 Corinthians 11:19-20 (NLT)  

Paul has one word to describe bossy and controlling church leaders: FOOLS.

Bossy leaders can only control your life if you allow them to.

You must resist bossy leadership but be careful how you react.
  • Don’t start a fight ... 
  • ...but also don't run from necessary confrontation.
  • Don’t set up your own ministry with a vengeful or competitive attitude 
  • ... but don't bury your gift if you are called to pioneer a new ministry.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Romans 12:14 (NLT) 

Blessing is not weak. It has the power of God’s original creation.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)