It is said that elderly people can become like children, weak, dependant and in need of support. I am nearly 76. My mother died at that age, but I am still mentally and physically active, and I expect to live past 80 at least.
When I turned 70, I started to think about the limited time I have left in this life. It didn’t frighten me.
I had been reading a lot about near death experiences, in which people were clinically dead, talked to Jesus or even visited heaven. I am looking forward to the next life. Every year is a year closer to a much better life that never ends.
I am looking forward to seeing my parents and other believing friends and loved ones. I am looking forward to pursuing my passion for music and art.
It is wonderful not to have to go to work. I don’t have to comply with stupid bureaucratic procedures that contributed nothing to the effectiveness of my work. I don’t have to deal with fastidious managers and stressful deadlines. I don’t have to get up at 6 in the morning, deal with peak hour traffic, and keep working in the afternoon when I am getting tired.
Some things are better, but some things are distressing.
I miss the social stimulation of working with students and colleagues. In the last few years I have also lost some dear friends. People get sick. People die. Even if they are believers and went to heaven, I miss their friendship.
Recently I was praying. I felt that I was still a young person in an ageing body. I no longer had parents to love me, although I was happy that they are in heaven. I felt like I needed a father. Although I am devoted to God, the fatherhood of God is something I have never fully emotionally connected to.
I lay in bed and repeated over and over.
“I need a father. God, you are my father.” Even though this was not an overwhelming feeling, it was a reaching out to my real heavenly Father. We all need a father, no matter how old we are.
A couple of days later, I was reading the psalms. I came across a familiar promise of God, and it was an answer from heaven to my prayer.
Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Ps 27:10 NIV
This verse took on a new meaning for me. I know Christians whose parents abused or deserted them, but that was not my experience. My parents cared for me long after they reached old age. They never abandoned me.
I did not grieve when they died, because both of them became believers on their death beds. I was relieved and happy they were safe in heaven.
But now I realise I need a father. And God spoke to me through psalm 27. God is my Father and he will never let me down.
