God called Abram to leave his country and go to the promised land. He would be the father of many nations.
Abram believed God and he became the father or pioneer of our faith. When he obeyed God and left his country, his wife went with him.
Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You have become her daughters as long as you do what is good and never let fears alarm you. 1 Peter 3:6 (NRSV)
Many people read Bible texts like these and assume that God ordained from the beginning that men should rule over women. They go even further and teach that no woman may lead a church or ministry and that spiritual authority is by its very nature something that always belongs to men and not women.
But in the beginning it was not so.
To see the original principle in the mind of God, we need to go back to God’s creation before the fall of Adam and Eve.
So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
- God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." Genesis 1:27-28 (NRSV)
The only dominion or authority indicated by God is to rule over the earth, not for one to rule over the other.
When did the rule of man over woman originate?
To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pangs in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Genesis 3:16 (NRSV)
Does this mean God ordained that man should rule over his wife?
Some think so but others see this as a sad prediction by God of the way sinful human nature would operate.
When Jesus died on the cross, he paid the penalty and the price of sin, so that God could begin a great work of restoration, to restore human beings and all creation to conform with God’s original purpose.
Jesus taught his disciples to pray:
Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:10 (NRSV)
How does see men and women from a heavenly perspective?
There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 (NRSV)
This expresses God’s eternal perspective but in the New Testament there are still concessions to a fallen world.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as you obey Christ ....Ephesians 6:5 (NRSV)
Texts like these were used for centuries by Christians to justify slavery but it was Christians in the 19th Century who led the fight to abolish slavery.
In the 19th and 20th centuries, many Christians also supported the political campaign to recognise women’s rights, to own property, to have custody of children, to vote in elections and be a party to business contracts.
The question is then, should we recognise spiritual authority as belonging to women as well as men?
We have to ask the question: What is spiritual authority?
Firstly, all authority belongs to God and comes from God.
He created man and woman in his own image, to be like himself. Male and female humans both reflect the nature of God in different ways but one is not more like God than the other.
The first aspect of spiritual authority is to create life.
God created plants, animals and then humans and He authorised man and woman to be fruitful and multiply. This is only possible through intimate partnership between man and woman.
This suggests that the essence of spiritual authority is in partnership and agreement rather than chain of command.
Jesus said to his disciples:
I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. John 15:15 (NRSV)
In Genesis 1, God created man and woman to rule together, partners in government of the planet. God has not changed his mind.
There are Christians who are happy to allow women to speak in church, to pray or even to prophesy and preach. Why not?
'In the last days it will be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams. Acts 2:17 (NRSV)
On the other hand, there are many who will not go so far as to allow women to become pastors, elders or to have a teaching office. Why is this?
Of course tradition is a big factor but there is also confusion over a very strong instruction by Paul in his first letter to Timothy.
Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. 1 Timothy 2:11-12 (NRSV)
Most women were not educated and if they were Gentiles, they had little or no knowledge of Scripture, so they must learn in silence and submission before they could be qualified to participate in the use of spiritual gifts.
The key point to note here is that this is the only verse in the New Testament which forbids women from teaching or leading.
When a directive occurs only once in the whole Bible, we must ask why it was considered relevant in that particular situation. Any universal commandment of God is always repeated in different contexts.
Many times in the Bible God gave a command to someone only once but few of us would think that this command would apply to everyone for all time.
- Jesus told a rich young ruler to give away all his possessions. Many other people have done this and many have been blessed for it but it is not a universal law.
- When God told a prophet to marry a prostitute, should we think this would apply to others? Of course not.
- When Moses told the Hebrews to give him their gold and jewellery to build the tabernacle, many Christians think this is a universal law against women wearing gold or diamonds. What nonsense!
- God told Moses to strike a rock to get water but no one today hits rocks to get water.
Why did Paul tell Timothy to restrict the teaching activities of at least some women?
Timothy was the Apostolic overseer in the important city of Ephesus. Ephesus was an unusual city dominated by a matriarchal cult centred around the worship a fertility goddess, known in Greek as Artemis and in Latin as Diana.
I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. 1 Timothy 2:11-12 (NRSV)
The Greek expression translated here is AUTHENTEIN ANDROS.
The English translation is “have authority over a man”.
However, the translation “have authority” is doubtful. The same word is used in many Greek texts to mean “usurp authority”.
The goddess of Ephesus dominated the culture and no doubt encouraged a spirit of domineering matriarchy.
Before his conversion Paul had been a domineering control freak. It is not hard to find texts in Paul’s writings indicating his abhorrence of bossy control and bullying by anyone in the church.
The culture in most of the Roman Empire at that time and in later centuries was the opposite of matriarchal domination. Males were assumed to be superior and were expected to rule over women.
The church fathers in the second and following centuries wrongly interpreted this verse in the light of their own cultural bias and this bias persists in church tradition to this day.
What Paul really meant to say was that he would not allow dominant matriarchal women to control or dominate males because of the influence of their pagan past.
From this one verse in one of Paul’s letters, it would be quite unreasonable to conclude that women should never teach men or be promoted to Christian leadership.
If there are any other texts which seem to prevent women from exercising leadership or occupying a teaching office, please feel free to respectfully point these out, so we can discuss this matter in a civilised way.
If a husband violently attacks his wife and then apologises. Should she forgive him?
If he then bashes his wife and apologises and then does it again and again, and each time he asks for forgiveness, should she forgive him?
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
- Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)
Does this mean if he bashes and hurts her every week for a year and each time asks for forgiveness, she should stay with him and not leave?
Jesus is our example. What can we learn from his life?
When the time came for Jesus to lay down his life by dying on the cross, he did not resist violence but gave himself up.
However, on other occasions, God protected him and he escaped.
- When he was a baby and Herod tried to kill him, Mary and Joseph escaped with him to Egypt.
- When he grew up, God protected him from premature death.
And they rose up and drove him out of the town and brought him to the brow of the hill on which their town was built, so that they could throw him down the cliff. But passing through their midst, he went away. Luke 4:29-30 (ESV)
Jesus never bore a grudge.
He was always willing to forgive but that did not oblige him to submit to violence or physical danger until the time came for him to offer himself as a sacrifice on the cross.
Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing.
- But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people
- and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man. John 2:23-25 (ESV)
Jesus was never bitter or unwilling to forgive but he did not trust untrustworthy people. He did not put his life in the hands of dangerous people until the time came for him to die.
Christians are often told never to defend themselves or speak up against abuse because Jesus did not resist evil when he was arrested and killed. Christians are told they have no rights.
Jesus used very sharp language to speak against his enemies on many occasions. It was only when the time came for him to die, that he laid aside his rights and laid down his life.
When the Apostle Paul was arrested savagely beaten, he defended his rights as a Roman citizen.
Acts 16:37-39 (ESV) 37 But Paul said to them, “They have beaten us publicly, uncondemned, men who are Roman citizens, and have thrown us into prison; and do they now throw us out secretly? No! Let them come themselves and take us out.” 38 The police reported these words to the magistrates, and they were afraid when they heard that they were Roman citizens. 39 So they came and apologized to them. And they took them out and asked them to leave the city.
It is a sad irony that some preachers who teach Christians not to protect themselves are very quick to speak against anyone who challenges them.
So it is clear that you must forgive every time someone attacks or abuses you, especially if they say they are sorry, even 490 times.
However, that does not mean that you have to stay in a situation where you are certain to be attacked again and again, even if each attack is followed by an apology.
You can forgive and pray for blessing on your persecutor but you can do it from a safe distance.
Some might say that if you forgive, you must forget and not talk about the offender.
However, if you are badly injured, you need to talk about your injuries to a doctor. If you are under threat, you need to talk about it to the police and to lawyers.
If you are damaged emotionally and spiritually, you need friendship and spiritual support.
So, of course you need to talk about your persecutor but at the same time pray for blessing and help for him.
One of the biggest problems with forgiveness is this. People don’t understand what forgiveness really is.
- If someone terrorises you, rapes you, steals your wife or husband or children, you read the Bible and you see that God expects you to forgive the person who ruined your life.
- You are a woman in hospital because your husband beat you up and not for the first time. You go to the funeral of your son who killed himself because a priest or pastor raped him.
You go to a pastor for counselling and he says: “Just forgive.”Of course that is at least half right. The Lord’s Prayer says:And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us...Luke 11:4 (NRSV)
It is true that if you do not forgive, you will not be able to fully enjoy the mercy of God, the peace of God, the comfort of God or perhaps the healing power of God.
- So what is wrong with the advice to “Just forgive?”
The word “JUST” is an insult, a slap in the face, a kick in the stomach. It is the arrogance of a Pharisaical priesthood.
When a father, a mother, a wife, a husband, a priest or pastor destroys your life by condemnation, rejection, adultery, slander, violence or rape and your life is in ruins, you feel violent indignation. You are burning with a sense of injustice.
- Supposing the injustice is ongoing and not just something that happened in the past. If you “just” forgive, you feel you are submitting to evil and excusing or even condoning evil.
It is wrong to excuse evil or condone sin and you are right to feel this.
When Jesus was hanging on the cross, He said:
Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." ... Luke 23:34 (NKJV)
Jesus was not excusing their sin. He was not trivialising the sin of murder. He was releasing them from the judgement of God, so they would be able to seek forgiveness and receive mercy from the Father.
When you counsel a person who has been terribly abused, never tell them to “just forgive.” A terrible injustice has been done.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 (NKJV)
We could perhaps add, “Rage with those who rage.”
When a man abuses, rapes or bashes his children, the mother of the children should be angry. There is something wrong if she is not angry. Do you imagine God Himself does not feel angry about this?
If you counsel such a woman, the first priority is to help her to protect her children and herself, often by leaving her husband and taking her children away.
It is also essential to minister to her broken heart by entering into her trauma and taking her side.
"The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the broken-hearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed; Luke 4:18 (NKJV)
Then you must help the woman to forgive. This does not mean she must go back to her husband or allow him to continue beating, raping or abusing.
- Many Christians are wrongly taught that forgiveness must include excusing the sin. Wrong!
- Many Christians are taught that forgiveness requires them to continue in fellowship with a violent or dangerous partner or parent. Wrong!
- Many Christians are taught to believe forgiveness requires them to forget that their daughter committed suicide because she was seduced by her father or her pastor. Wrong!
- Many Christians are taught that if they are still traumatised, they have not forgiven. Wrong!
When Jesus prayed for the forgiveness of His tormentors on the cross, did He then not feel tormented any more? What a ridiculous idea!
If Christian woman is raped, and she forgives her attacker, does that mean she should not then report the crime and cooperate with the police and the courts? That would expose other women to danger.
To be continued.
