Overcoming Despair and Bitterness

Have you experienced a humiliating defeat? Maybe you've lost your job or your marriage.
You wonder if you are the victim or if you have failed yourself.

Many Christians give up or blame God themselves.

Some blame themselves. They become passive and resigned.

This is very dangerous. It can lead to a serious depressive illness, perhaps alcoholism, or pornography addiction, or suicide.

The most miserable failure in the Bible was Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus. When he realised his terrible guilt, he did not plead for God's forgiveness. Instead, he fell into despair and self-hatred.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.

“I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. Mt 27:3–5 NIV

No matter how you have failed, you are still totally loved by Jesus. He wants to forgive you. He wants to give you a completely new start.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps 34:18 NIV

Peter also let Jesus down.

After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed.

Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. Mt 26:73–75 NIV

But Peter did not give up. Jesus met him and Peter was ready to receive forgiveness and love from Jesus.

When you are rock bottom, you can reject yourself or hate your adversaries. But you won't find a way out with hatred and rejection.

Forgive those who bully or abuse you. Above all, forgive yourself.

This is so hard, but no one was more terribly abused than Jesus, hanging stark naked on the cross. How did he pray?

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” Lk 23:34 NRSV

But maybe you are a victim of sexual abuse. Can you demand justice?

Why not? God is the God of mercy, but also of justice. If criminals are not punished, they can continue to sin and destroy other victims.

But it is so important that you allow God to cleanse your heart of all bitterness.

Are you a victim or a failure? It doesn't matter. Jesus loves you. He still has good plans for you.

Despite everything, you can have a future.