Christians Need Friends

 I just listened to a discussion between American women who are in ministry as pastors and leaders. They have to put up with a lot of criticism and unfair judgement from people who believe only men should be leaders and teachers. 

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Ga 3:28 NKJV 

 It is essential for them to network and encourage each other to keep going.

I reflected that most pastors and church leaders are men. They also have problems and often suffer criticism and discouragement. They also experience many personal weaknesses and failures, but these are often not exposed until they suffer severe burnout, fall into serious sin or are involved in church splits and various scandals. Sadly, this happens all too often.

Women in leadership endure opposition from people with patriarchal doctrines, and they need support, but men are theoretically supposed to be strong leaders on some kind of pedestal. If women suffer from discrimination, men suffer from absurd expectations of superior strength and wisdom.

Gender based hierarchy damages both men and women. Women who are treated as subordinates can become legalistic, critical and gossipy. Men have to keep up the appearance of superiority, which is a crippling burden to bear.

Jesus understood the importance of partnership and teamwork. He sent out his disciples two by two.

Paul planted churches everywhere he went, except for one important city, Athens. What happened in Athens? Paul was there alone, without a missionary partner or assistant. Everywhere else he travelled with Silas, Barnabas, Timothy or Luke.

If a man has to sit alone on a throne as family priest or senior pastor, he finds it difficult to confess faults or weaknesses, difficult to ask for help. 

Of course a patriarchal leader can ask or tell people to do things, like a manager assigning tasks in a business, but this is not the same as asking a partner for help to deal with his personal weaknesses or problems.

James tells Christians to confess their faults to one another. This is not the same as subordinates confessing sins to a pastor.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Jas 5:16 NIV

Every pastor, whether man or woman, needs good trustworthy Christian friends, people to go to for personal help and encouragement.

Every Christian needs the same kind of help. I have never been an ordained pastor. On occasions, a Christian man or woman has confided personal weaknesses or failures to me. They could not go to their pastor for fear of exposure or being suspended from their ministry.

I was able to give priestly encouragement, and I trust that helped them to deal with their problem.

We are called to be a community of priests and give priestly help to each other in a way which often does not work well in a strictly hierarchical system.

I would encourage every Christian to have trusted Christian friends who are not necessarily members of the same church.

I also believe marriages work better when husband and wife love and respect each other as equal partners with equal status and authority. This is the best way for deep trusting friendship to flourish.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph 5:21 NIV

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Php 2:3 NKJV