Misunderstood and Alone

Jesus paused at a well and spoke to a woman. This was considered very unseemly.

Firstly, Jesus was a Jew, and she was a Samaritan woman. As a holy Jewish preacher, it was also expected of him to distance himself from women.

The woman was surprised because normally Jews wanted nothing to do with Samaritans.

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) John 4:9 NIV84

It turned out that she was a genuinely despised woman because she was in an illegitimate relationship, but Jesus did not care about outward appearances when the Father was leading Him to a person who might be open to God.

Many preachers call this woman extremely sinful because she was married five times and divorced who knows how many times. We fall into the temptation to judge her as a slut, but Jesus understood humanity better than most Christians.

In those days, and in many cultures today, no woman was allowed to just kick her husband out.
The man was in charge. She was either rejected several times or widowed over and over again.

In many cultures today, and most likely in Samaria back then, single women are considered fair game. A woman married five times may have been innocent, but simply barren.

There are also cultures and countries today where such a woman has to make an unsavoury choice. 

No man wanted to be the sixth husband, but alone and without a family, she would have to prostitute herself or simply be exposed as a victim for repeated rapes. 

So she lived with a man, even though it was obviously not ideal.

Shame and guilt often go together, but shame is not guilt. Jesus bore the most extreme shame when he hung stark naked on the cross, although he was totally blameless.

A devout Christian woman who is persecuted, enslaved and raped by communists or Muslims for her faith experiences terrible shame, but in God's eyes she is completely innocent.

Perhaps you are misunderstood. This can be a very cruel and lonely experience, and it can last a long time.

A German poet describes these experiences with deep insight.

Strange, walking in the fog!
Lonely every bush and stone,
No tree sees another,
Each one is alone.

Strange, walking in the fog!
Life is loneliness.
No one knows another,
Each one is alone.

Hermann Hesse was perhaps rather depressed and the poem is very pessimistic, but he has uncovered a grain of truth.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer explains how we must all stand alone before Jesus.

Only Jesus understands you totally, and despite all your faults He loves you too, just as He loved that woman at the well.

We can have times when we find real togetherness with someone, but these good times come and go. Jesus gave this woman new hope.

She was very misunderstood and lonely, but Jesus gave her a new life in which she could safely find real community and also human relationships. By believing in Jesus, she became a signpost for her village.

This loneliness, this life of misunderstanding, was never God's intention for you.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 NIV84

When we try to live our lives without God, we move away from the only source of love and understanding.
God wants to help you find your way back to His heart.